Lord Humphrey’s Daughter, by John Grover

by audreyhoman

#36: “Lord Humphrey’s Daughter” by John Grover

Synopsis: An overprotective father, a weather-witch daughter and an angry mob with torches and pitchforks. What does that spell? That’s right, people. FEAR OF PUSSY.

“That world is not for you! Enough of this. Stay off the balconies.”


Oh this story. This. Story.

Adrienne is the daughter of the title, and every time she opens her balcony doors o.O and whistles, men crash their ships into the rocks and everything bursts into flame. O.O

Lord Humphrey tries to protect his darling flower *.* from a band of young men from the village who are eager to take her away from dear daddy. (Shit, I don’t know the emoticon for stabbing myself in the face. Improvise, y’all.)

Unfortunately, Adrienne is dumb as a bag of rocks and so despite wanting to go into town and taste freedom, is mollified by daddy giving her a prism, because it is sparkly. Then there’s an angry mob and a fire and the monster the pussy Adrienne escapes and wanders out into the world accompanied by albatross familiars. And that’s basically where my interest picked up. Because I’m kind of over the story of the girl locked in the tower. I want to read about what happens when she gets loose.

“Lord Humphrey’s Daughter” is free online via Amazon.

“Because spending however many years in a tower is just the time to develop a whole host of skills.” –thornyrose42